(100) Days of Miller

Day 1:

Day 100:
What an awesome, exhausting, blessed, joyful, sometimes frustrating, amazing and beautiful past 100 days it has been! Never in 100 years would we have been able to predict how much we truly love this now 14 pound little man.

it's deep into autumn and it's 95 degrees outside

One of my younger sisters came up last weekend to visit and commented on (well, really poked fun at) my lack of Halloween decor. So last week as it became dreary and stormy outside, I wore a hoody 2 days in a row and nestled into the harvest season by setting out an orange and red tablecloth, a few orange/brown candles and made some chicken noodle soup. Two days later the sun washed away the gray clouds and it's back to tank tops and flip flops. Two days later we were still eating soup.


At the request of a few soup loving pals, here is my (what Evan and I consider DELICIOUS) chicken noodle soup recipe:

• Heat 1 tablespoon unsalted butter & 1 tablespoon light olive oil in a pot. (You can do one or the other; I think the butter and oil combo gives the soup broth a good overall texture in the end.)
• Add 1 cup each chopped carrots, celery and white onion; salt & pepper; minced garlic (portion depending on how little or how much you want.)
• Saute until onion begins to soften.
• Add diced cooked chicken- portion to your own liking (I used leftover meat from the night before's store bought rotisseried chicken).
• Mix in 1 tablespoon "Herbs de Provence" (my favorite poultry seasoning because it has a touch of lavendar. You can add oregano, parsley, basil, or whatever you want instead.)
• Add 4 cups of chicken broth or more depending on how brothy you want the soup to be. (I like the lower sodium broths best so I have control over how much salt the soup needs.)
• (Here's where you can add softer veggies if you feel like it. I sometimes add peas, corn and/or diced tomatoes. I also like to add about 1 tablespoon chopped fresh basil.)
• Salt & pepper to taste. Simmer until all veggies are cooked and flavorful. (At least 15 minutes.)
• Once cooked through, you can add your cooked pasta choice directly into the soup or you can portion noodles into the soup bowls and ladle soup over it. (I like keeping the noodles seperate since I usually have leftovers and it keeps the noodles from breaking up and getting overly soft.)

ENJOY!

I LOVE LOVE LOVE making soups and will most likely add more of my favorite soup recipes as autumn and winter progress. Hopefully this will start to happen soon...

This whole lack of lengthy sleep thing is really doing a number on my social skills and memory.

Perhaps it's the fact that I talk about myself in third person all day long to a three month old, but lately I feel I've lost the ability to hold a decent conversation with an adult. If you have spent time with me in the last few months and have been victim to my social awkwardness, I do truly and sincerely apologize.

In other news: The other day I spent at least 5 minutes trying to recall the name of "Project Runway". Once "Auf Wiedersehen" and "Top Fashion Designer" were rejected, I finally felt sane again. A half hour later I was humming Christmas carols while rocking Miller to sleep, because "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star" was too difficult to recall.

I should seriously consider taking some extra vitamins.

Enjoy some more cuteness while I drown my (hopefully) temporary stupidity with some Zinfandel.

Looks like I'm not the only one procrastinating

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XWhUeAy35qc&feature=player_embedded#

p.s. who can teach me how to upload the actual video and not just cut and pasted weblinks?

It sure is fun procrastinating when I've got this to look at

Needless to say, the dishes, the laundry and my writing are slowly being processed. It's all in my effort to teach patience.

You're welcome.

"Helping the environment. You're welcome."

Just when I thought her acting was super annoying and vanilla in THE BOURNE ULTIMATUM, she does something like this and totally redeems herself.
http://www.juliastilesstyles.com/Styles_by_Stiles.html

Just the Beginning

It's only been two and a half months, but already Evan and I can barely remember our lives and who we were before Miller started creating memories with us. This parenting identity is both automatic and earned as we wake each new day and love on this little man. It's all new to us, to me, and my heart stretches every morning just to make room to soak it all in.

For myself, it almost brings me to tears each day when I watch Evan solidify his place as a Daddy for Miller. With just a simple shared smile, I melt.

I am learning.

I am loving.

I am melting.

Dreaming of sweaters...

Oh Anthropologie.com how you tease me so. Anyone want to go on a thrift store hunt with me to find knock offs 30 years older and 90% cheaper?

There are ants in my bathroom and I don't have the energy to hate them.

Enjoy some of Miller's latest strengths while I try to gather some of my own.

Productive tummy time:

Not hating his carseat... too much:

Vanity:

Using his words:

Being less of a bobble head:

Pretty soon it will be "Look at my latest Nobel Prize, Mom" and "Wow, another Peabody?!"

I'm loving all the tiny developments until then.

Welcome to the Newness

Welcome!

Technically, this is not a new blog.

But whatever is ahead is because of what was behind.

So welcome to today!

Welcome to the now!
Welcome to my adventure!

Enjoy it as much I do!

Currently, I am:

Tired

No longer puffy

In love

In one year...

It's been one year.
One year since I last typed into this.
One year since I last felt my heart break into a million pieces.
One year since I felt the most lost I ever want to feel or anyone should ever feel.
It's been one year.

This September 2009 Amy is...
Happy!
Challenged!
Loved!
Worthy!
In control!
and a Mother!
All things September 2008 Amy never saw possible.

I love proving her wrong.

just a slice of bitter pie (excerpt from an email to a best friend when asked what i do to "protect myself" when all i want to do is hide in a cave)

The whole “protecting myself” situation by the way involves a few key ingredients:

• at least 2 glasses of wine or hard alcohol to find that perfect sweet spot to numb the mind and find some much needed sleep

• not hanging out with people I want to punch in the face. (this was difficult the first 2 weeks because I wanted to punch everyone in the face)

• allowing myself to have the philosophy of “f*** it!” running through my mind (obviously I mean the “I couldn’t care less” mentality rather than having lots of sex mentality)

• making [insert hubs name here] promise that when he gets his school loan for this semester I buy a canon rebel xti (still no clue as to what the hell I need a fancier camera for, but it’s nice to have something bigger than a pack of small chicas v-necks from target in my future to purchase)

• allowing myself to feel better than everyone else who’s never experienced loss, pain and/ or true grief and/ or serious depression. (“Eff all those effing pansy ass jerkoffs who would never even truly come close to appreciating pure joy!”)

• Listening to heartbreakingly sad, sappy, often times involving some sort of slow piano playing songs in my car when I’m driving by myself. (No one knows I’m crying if I have sunglasses on and in my air conditioned car.)

It's been 2 months and a lifetime since I last spoke...

I'm just not sure how long it's going to be until I find something to share.

fave quote this week

"whatever you think i was doing behind that bush, it wasn't peeing," said [drunk] man walking out from behind a bush as my husband walked our dog.

Not so simple simplicity

Tiny efforts/ goals that hopefully assist me in becoming/ realizing the best version of me:

• Making my bed every morning- There is something about a freshly made bed that helps to cheer me up first thing in the morning. Somehow looking at it finalizes the fact that I am awake and it is a new day. Although, I still want to crawl back in it and sleep for another 6 hours. I'm hoping that by starting each day with a made bed will trickle down into the "cleaning/ organizing" of the rest my house.
  
• Waking up at least one hour before I need to leave for work or other morning activities- I am a serious sleep junkie. I hit snooze at least 3 times. Every minute counts. I would love to be one of those people who can pop out of bed refreshed and ready to actively participate in their day. I, however, every morning groggily zombie walk my way to the bathroom and hope that I don't have to talk to anyone before lunch and/ or 2 cups of coffee. If anyone reading this has ANY tips to curb this serious sleep addiction, please share.
• Sending thank you cards/ birthday cards/ replying to emails/ voicemails in a timely manner- How hard can it be to be intentionally responsible for creating better lasting relationships? Apparently this is very hard for me. Still not sure if my lack of effort is a result of moving around so much. I need to be proactive in my relationships rather than reactive. Maybe this tiny step of communicating better will help...
• If reading, then writing- For (almost) 29 years, I have managed to build for myself safe, secure little walls that keep all my secret "talents" well guarded. This is my obvious effort to never know failure, and by default I never really know success either. In order to challenge myself to greater heights, I must do 2 things: 1) continue to read/ reread others who have taken the risks to put their talent out there (some great, some weak, some breathtaking); and 2) continue to write, write, write (some great, some weak, some breathtaking).
• Choose me- (I think) I am not usually a selfish, demanding person. I can think of only one time I ever threw a temper tantrum as a child (It was over not eating scrambled eggs and I'm pretty sure I didn't want to eat them because I had the stomach flu.) I give away my seat on the bus. I share raspberry kiss cookies from Porto's. I genuinely listen to people vent. I offer my couch when needed. All pretty standard actions, I think. What I do however do instead, is become hyper self aware and self involved with my own issues/ weaknesses. Because I am so self conscious, all I can think about, write about, share in conversations are the negative things happening in my life. Negative= exciting/ worthy to me. Sharing positives seems so mediocre and flat to me. "No one wants to hear about those things." In order to stop this instinctive self wallowing, I need to "chose me". I need to "selfishly" take control of my time. Say "No" whenever I hesitate. Learn to be decisive. Speak often. Speak loud. Find my voice.

That should do it. I think. For now...