Monday, June 2, 2008

Not so simple simplicity

Tiny efforts/ goals that hopefully assist me in becoming/ realizing the best version of me:
  • Making my bed every morning- There is something about a freshly made bed that helps to cheer me up first thing in the morning. Somehow looking at it finalizes the fact that I am awake and it is a new day. Although, I still want to crawl back in it and sleep for another 6 hours. I'm hoping that by starting each day with a made bed will trickle down into the "cleaning/ organizing" of the rest my house.
  • Waking up at least one hour before I need to leave for work or other morning activities- I am a serious sleep junkie. I hit snooze at least 3 times. Every minute counts. I would love to be one of those people who can pop out of bed refreshed and ready to actively participate in their day. I, however, every morning groggily zombie walk my way to the bathroom and hope that I don't have to talk to anyone before lunch and/ or 2 cups of coffee. If anyone reading this has ANY tips to curb this serious sleep addiction, please share.
  • Sending thank you cards/ birthday cards/ replying to emails/ voicemails in a timely manner- How hard can it be to be intentionally responsible for creating better lasting relationships? Apparently this is very hard for me. Still not sure if my lack of effort is a result of moving around so much. I need to be proactive in my relationships rather than reactive. Maybe this tiny step of communicating better will help...
  • If reading, then writing- For (almost) 29 years, I have managed to build for myself safe, secure little walls that keep all my secret "talents" well guarded. This is my obvious effort to never know failure, and by default I never really know success either. In order to challenge myself to greater heights, I must do 2 things: 1) continue to read/ reread others who have taken the risks to put their talent out there (some great, some weak, some breathtaking); and 2) continue to write, write, write (some great, some weak, some breathtaking).
  • Choose me- (I think) I am not usually a selfish, demanding person. I can think of only one time I ever threw a temper tantrum as a child (It was over not eating scrambled eggs and I'm pretty sure I didn't want to eat them because I had the stomach flu.) I give away my seat on the bus. I share raspberry kiss cookies from Porto's. I genuinely listen to people vent. I offer my couch when needed. All pretty standard actions, I think. What I do however do instead, is become hyper self aware and self involved with my own issues/ weaknesses. Because I am so self conscious, all I can think about, write about, share in conversations are the negative things happening in my life. Negative= exciting/ worthy to me. Sharing positives seems so mediocre and flat to me. "No one wants to hear about those things." In order to stop this instinctive self wallowing, I need to "chose me". I need to "selfishly" take control of my time. Say "No" whenever I hesitate. Learn to be decisive. Speak often. Speak loud. Find my voice.
That should do it. I think. For now...

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