Monday Motivators (Back in Action)

 It sure is nice to feel super again.

 

What's motivating you this week?

Details

I often lose myself in stress.  It's such a thin line between focused balance and frazzled to dos.  These last few months have been struggle for me and it's been hard to find the right words for wholeness.

I'm grabbing at them slowly.  A practice that stretches me thin, but still a practice that pieces me together.

Details like these from a recent trip Evan and I took to Palm Springs focus me.  Details like these ground me.  Details like these remind me.

I am always details.
I am always "to dos".
I am always me.

The words will come.
Steady, focused, me words.

Steps

I felt like I was trekking through mud for awhile. 

It's a good thing I'm starting to feel solid on my own feet again, or else I would be missing out on how exciting all this walking around can be.

Standing

Today I am bones. 
Rattling, rummaging bones.

Shake-
Shaker-
SHAKEN to stand on my own two feet.

Tomorrow I am bones.
Steady, sturdy, walking bones.

For the Fans

WE FINALLY HAVE OUR OWN WIFI!!  And a few minutes that I'm using to be totally unproductive.  My troublesome list of tasks can wait.  I have a chile cheese tamale in my belly, a Hansen's pomegranate by my side, and a collection of memories I've captured on my phone camera.

Enjoy these few moments in time as I enjoy a few more of my own.

Simplicity

There's a mockingbird's nest in our orange tree in the backyard.  The mother bird perches herself on a nearby rooftop.  She's ready and fiercely cries out when we get too close.  She's gone only a few moments throughout the day to find food. 

And then she's back.  Feeding.  Protecting her family and her home.

I've had a tiresome week.  Too many hours spent working.  Too many boxes to unpack.  Too many hours spent feeling frustrated that there's only 24 hours in a day.

I watch that bird every morning and I'm envious of simplicity.

Simply, deep breaths. 
Simply, one moment at a time.

Monday Motivators

I'm coming up for air. Deep breaths and full eyes. It's madness and bliss. This sweet stirring of movement. Time and a solid wifi signal patiently wait for the dust to settle. I hope you can too. :) P.S. I'm finally now on (and addicted!!) to instagram. (@actualizingamy) Let's catch up!

Big.

*This is something I wrote awhile back that I submitted to a short essay contest.  Although it wasn't used for that, I feel it's perfect to share with you all this mother's day weekend.  We're still deep in moving prep and hopes to finally FINALLY! close escrow.  Mixed with everyday life and work schedules, I'll continue to be a bit MIA these next few weeks as things (hopefully?) begin to settle back into place.  Have a wonderful weekend yourself, enjoying all your own blessings!


I hate to do dishes.  Tedious and mindless.  Hands numbing.  Pruning.  But we do them.  Everyday.  That little window of joy, of satisfaction I feel glancing at the empty counter once it’s done, is decadent. 

Mothering is like that sometimes.  Mindless and decadent…

I’m currently listening to my two kids whisper back and forth to each other in the other room.  They should have been asleep hours ago.  Instead, thanks to my upstairs neighbors’ dinner guests, I hear my eight month old loudly “AHHH, BAAA, BPPPFFFFTTT, AHHHH” over to her two and a half year old brother.  She’s only met with loud “SHHHHHHHHHHH”s and an occasional grumpy sigh. 

I am blessed and I don’t know how to thank for it. 

I watched TREE OF LIFE this week.  Intense, pretentious, and lovely.  I’ve been haunted by it since.  It hit the piece of me that feels I am so small.  So so so small.  Sometimes so empty.  I get foggy.  And mindless.  And before I know it, I’m numb.  Lost in what feels like the day to day battle of tedious moments.  Just survive.

A text from my husband on a far away weekend trip.  The spitty shushes from the other room.  The shared dishes from a filling meal.  Suddenly I’m whole again. 

Big.  Bigger than I know how to hold.  Bigger than I know how to live. 

I am blessed and I know enough to thank for it.

 

Monday Motivators

Sharing roads.

It's just skin
and shoes
and dirt.

Walkeduponwalkeduponwalkedupon.
Until there's nothing left but stones
and grit
and miles of paths.

I take these steps with grace.
Knowing I'm met with skin
and shoes
and dirt
before me.

---------------
Thank you, ladies, for walking beside me.  I can't wait for next year!
xoxo
Amy

Monday Motivators (on a Tuesday)

We're attempting to carry on a sense of normalcy as we are now surrounded by cardboard boxes and hopes for an easy move these next 2 weeks.  (Which may explain Miller's seventeen screaming temper tantrums last week...)

Blog postings and internet use will be light for me since I tend to get sucked down the internet rabbit hole when I'm procrastinating.  (Which is pretty much all the time...)

Until next time, I'm wishing a leisurely couple of weeks for all of us. :)

Hunting: Keys

We (hopefully!) close escrow on our new house next Friday.  I'm still holding back my little brain from diving deep into decorating and renovating ideas.  (Confession: I've been known to lay in bed for hours contemplating cardigans to wear the next day.  Designing a house could be extremely detrimental to my sleep habits.)

So until I allow my brain full access to day (and night) dreaming about ideal home spaces, I'm etsy window shopping for a new keychain to properly showcase some new to me keys. 

{Reclaimed Leather Keychain from Banoo}

{Serotonin Keychain from Molecular Muse}

{Upcycled License Plate Keychain from Pluma Accessories}

{Monarch Butterfly Leather Keychain/Bag Carrier from Kookii}

{Enamel She Ra Keychain from Cartoon Junk}

Monday Motivators

Miller's been reaching for the camera a lot lately.  Every time I bring it out to snap some pictures, his little hands pop up and he jumps at the chance to hold it on his own. 

Sometimes I have to hold myself back from cringing as he teeters the heavy camera over a slab of concrete or a bathtub.  But with a click and a giggle, I'm mesmerized by how proud he is of himself and the quiet memory he's captured.

There's a beautiful language within artistic expression.  I'm forever learning, loving, and tuning my own ear to it.  I can only hope that my little ones are listening for the same. 

It's evident from these shots, that Miller's already steps ahead of me.

Celebrate

Sunny breezes, sugar highs, and new sights to see. 
It was a busy weekend. 
A busy, wonderful weekend.

I do hope yours was just as sweet.

{Dying eggs}

{Painting cookies with food coloring}

{Finding treasures}

{New specs}

Monday Motivators

Crawl, crawl, crawl, crawl, and rest.

Monday Motivators

We saw a woman washing her hair with street water today.  She sat at the edge of the grass using a cup to scoop up running water.  Over and over she poured cupfuls through her hands and down her head.  WE SAW A WOMAN WASHING HER HAIR WITH STREET WATER TODAY!

I couldn't breathe.  In slow motion my eyes strained to capture the absurdity, the sorrow of what was happening.  Typing this image now, I'm again at a loss for breath.

A roof to warm, space to spread, ground to name- it's becoming a constant challenge to keep myself from bursting into tears when I think of the enormity of what a home of our own represents.

And then at the same time, I realize it's only a house.  That roof to warm, space to spread, ground to name is simply just a house.

 
A home, our home, has been here all along.

I am blessed.
I am blessed.
I AM BLESSED!

There will never EVER be enough breath for me to come close to showing how thankful I am.

Now go breathe in your family, your friends, your home.  Because you, dear reader, are so blessed too.