Something happened after I had Miller. Even started during my pregnancy with him. Something I refer to as "getting all Mama Bear".
The idea, the feeling, the knowledge that if I needed to, I would have the strength to move a car, fight a lion, tear through walls to protect my family. A strength I never knew I had until a little one came along.
A strength I hope I will never have to access.
We watched WAITING FOR SUPERMAN last night. And while, like most documentaries, there were holes or unexplained statistics, it still hit at the core of my Mama Bearness.
Only deeper. In a spot that fears I cannot protect.
How do you keep your kids from being disappointed? Heartbroken? Rejected?
In my own life I try to take one day at a time. One fear at a time. One challenge at a time. But I would gladly take on all of theirs at once if I knew it would shelter them.
We'll have a house someday.
With a yard.
A shady tree.
A tinkering garage.
An automatic ice maker freezer.
A place to check in after a bike ride.
A warm cookie filled kitchen after turning in a science project.
An open hug and clean sheets for guests to rest on.
A hearth.
A home.
A shelter.
I'll fight the battles I can.
I'll rip to shreds the battles I can.
I'll humbly hold out my heart for the ones I cannot.
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